Cutting Back on Electronics

When my wife and I got together, the kids had a lot of access to electronics.

They would stay up late watching television, spend time on a phone watching TikTok or YouTube, and play games for hours. There were reasons for it. Being a single parent is difficult, and sometimes television or a phone is what gets you through the evening.

I understand it because it was basically my childhood too. I spent plenty of time watching television and playing games. But looking back, I do not think it was good for me, and I wish I had spent less of my childhood that way.

There is another reason this matters to us. My wife and I both work from home, and I am a game programmer, so technology is already a huge part of our household. It would be easy for the kids to think every free moment should involve a screen because that is what they see around them.

So one of the biggest changes we have made with our children has been removing easy access to electronics.

Less access, not none

We have not banned screens completely. The kids still get television and some time playing games on the Nintendo Switch or PlayStation 5. We just keep it limited instead of letting it fill every quiet moment.

Road trips are an obvious exception. Electronics make a long drive easier for everyone, so we let them use them in the car. Even then, we limit it to a few hours, followed by a couple of hours without them. We are trying to make electronics useful without letting them become the only way the kids know how to pass the time.

The school used to send the kids home with iPads for home learning, and we did not love that. Some children were staying up all night using them, then showing up the next day with dead batteries and being unable to use them for schoolwork. The lack of sleep was an issue too. Thankfully, the school decided not to send the iPads home this year. That seems like a better arrangement for everyone.

We recently heard about a school in our area that moved away from electronic learning in favor of pencil and paper. My wife and I are completely in favor of that, and we hope our children’s school moves in the same direction in the near future.

The important change was removing their ability to reach for electronics whenever they were bored. We did not need a complicated parenting system. We just needed to change what was available. We started making this change about 3 years ago, and it has worked really well for us.

This decision was not based only on our own observations. A review of excessive screen time and child development discusses possible effects and strategies for managing screen use. It does not prove our approach is right for every family, but it reinforced our decision not to allow unlimited access at home.

The behavior changed

Cutting back on electronics made a noticeable difference. They argue less about screens and have started acting more like kids. They go outside, play, draw, and even play pretend, which they did not really do before. They make up things to do instead of waiting for a video or game to entertain them. That is the kind of childhood I remember: going outside, playing in the dirt, and finding something interesting to do.

Our daughter draws constantly

Our daughter especially loves drawing. We have a massive tote full of her drawings, along with some from our son. He likes drawing too, just not as much as she does.

The drawings are not all masterpieces. They are characters, animals, strange ideas, and pictures that made complete sense to them when they drew them. She sits down and draws because she wants to. She has an idea and puts it on paper.

That is the kind of behavior we wanted to make room for.

Kids need to be bored sometimes

I think we have become too good at preventing children from being bored. Our philosophy is that boredom is good: not as a punishment, but as a normal part of being a child. We do not think every empty moment needs to be filled with entertainment. Sometimes boredom is where a child starts inventing something, drawing, building, exploring, or going outside.

Our children are still allowed to watch television and play games. We are not pretending electronics are evil, and I am not going to act like I never enjoyed them. We are just trying to make sure they are one part of childhood instead of becoming childhood itself.

I also do not think video games are inherently bad. Some require quick reactions, coordination, planning, and constant decision-making. An FPS game, for example, can help someone practice reacting quickly. Games can be useful without being available for hours every day.

The goal is balance

The goal is not to raise children who never use technology. It is to make sure they can put it down, spend time without a screen, and find something to do. Since cutting back, our kids seem happier doing ordinary things. They play outside, draw, get dirty, complain that they are bored, and then find something to do anyway.

That feels like a better version of childhood to me.

until next time